Category Archives: Pregnancy

Pregnancy myths – true or false

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Heidi Murkoff, the author of (what I call the pregnancy bible) What to Expect When You’re Expecting was on Sonoran Living yesterday discussing the latest edition of her book. On the show they discussed a few midwives tales which have been researched and shown to be valid. Here are a few of the old tales that I found interesting and my thoughts on them.

True or False: The more heartburn you have the more hair your baby will have.
Answer:  True.  The same hormones responsible for heartburn is responsible for the growth of fetal hair.
My thoughts:  This could explain how Caitlin came out so furry.  In addition to being born with a head full of hair, she also has the hairiest thighs I have ever seen on a little baby.  I don’t remember having heart burn while pregnant with Mark but he too came out with a bountiful of hair on his head.  He was not as hairy as Caitlin though.

True or False:  The more you are eating the more likely you are having a boy.
Answer:  True.  Research has found that if you are eating like a teenage boy then you are having a boy.  The good news, for the extra consumption, women carrying boys don’t gain any more weight than women carrying girls.
My thoughts:  I had a ravenous appetite while carrying my boys.  I ate, and ate, and ate!  I’m not sure about the “not gaining any more weight than women carrying girls,” but then I wasn’t eating healthy or working out.  I gained around 40 lbs with Aidan (I would have gained more if I had carried him to term) and 50+ lbs while carrying Mark.  With Caitlin, I often had cravings for salads and I worked out like crazy which helped me stay within the recommended weight gain restriction. 

True or False:  Pregnancy is the time to slack off on the couch.
Answer:  False.  Doctors recommend pregnant women get half an hour of exercise per day.
My thoughts:  I didn’t work out at all while I was carrying Aidan.  I worked out a little bit while I was carrying Mark but it was sporadic.  With Caitlin, I did weights and boxing until I was about five moths pregnant.  I then switched to doing the elliptical for at least 20 mins almost everyday for the remaining four months.  I’m sure there are other factors at play in addition to working out like a mad woman, but my pregnancy and labor and delivery with Caitlin has been the best pregnancy experience I have had so far.

True or False:  As you gain weight you lose brain cells.
Answer:  True.  Your brain is shrinking while you’re body is gaining all that weight, but it does grow back after delivery.
My thoughts:  TRUE, TRUE, TRUE!  Except for the brain cells growing back after delivery.  I think it takes a long, long time for those brain cells to come back.  Considering I have had three kids in the last four years, I think I just kept losing those brain cells without ever giving my brain a chance to grow some cells back.  I currently consider myself borderline retarded. 

To all the mothers (pregnant and not), and the future mothers-to-be, hope you find this information useful.  Also, I’m interested in knowing what your thoughts are on this topic.

Post baby bellies

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I was looking through the Baby Center web site when I came across this page – Post Baby Bellies.  *WARNING:  View web link at your own risk; not for those with strongly negative body image issues.* 

Wish I had that warning when I clicked on the link.  Let me say it did wonders to my self esteem.  The majority of the women who posted pictures of their post baby bellies actually had none.  If the web site thinks they are going to make all the normal bodied mothers out there feel comfortable about their after baby bellies by allowing these freaks of nature to post pictures of their non-existent baby bellies then they are sadly mistaken.  On the other hand, if they want to encourage mothers to head to the nearest plastic surgeon, then this is a great web site. 

Yes, I’m a jealous, bitter woman!

Although I have managed to lose most of the baby weight (in fact I think I weigh less than I did before I started having kids), after incubating, birthing, and nursing three babies, my body, as I consider it, is deformed!  *Okay “deformed” is a harsh description, but it’s my body and I’ll think of it the way I please.*  Kate Gosselin’s description of her stomach after giving birth to sextuplets, “jowls of a dog,” is the best way to describe my post baby belly too.  Lol… try not to picture it please.  It is not pretty.  *Again, I might be exaggerating a bit, but like I said before, it is my body blah, blah, blah…*  Now, please don’t think I’m trying to fish for compliments here.  There are days, albeit after much struggle and tears, I manage to get myself to look decent.  It takes a lot of work to camouflage all the baby fat that has redeposited itself on to other parts of my body in addition to my belly, giving me those “lovely” saddlebags/muffin tops, etc, but I do manage it.

Anyway, my point to this post is that most mothers out there do not have bellies like Heidi Klum.  For most mothers, my MIL excluded (she’s had six kids and still looks fabulous in a bikini where as you would not catch me dead in one anymore… not that you would want to either), their stomachs show the wear, tear, and sag of their pregnancy scars, and that is okay… you are normal, you are human.  To those mother’s whose bellies can give a supermodel a run for their money, I hate you… and I mean this in the nicest of ways.  Wish I could have a belly like yours.  Btw, I have to give props to the normal bodies women who posted their pictures on Baby Center.  You are strong and brave and I’m proud of you.  If it weren’t for your pictures I would think something was wrong with me and my mommy tummy and I probably would be hiding under a rock.  Thank you.

Now can somebody recommend a good plastic surgeon to me?  😉

Caitlin’s birth story

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On November 03, Caitlin turned two months and wow, how much she has changed.  She smiles a lot and loves to talk (coo) to you.  For a two month old she is very alert and aware of her surroundings and holds her head up really well.  She is also a pretty good sleeper usually sleeping at least six hours at night before her next feeding.  Compared to my two boys, she is by far the easiest baby I have dealt with. 

In celebration of Caitlin turning two months old I am documenting her birth… more so I don’t forget the events of that day.

Aidan woke up at 4 am crying for the no reason.  As both my boys were born in the morning, I figured Caitlin would follow the same path.  But, I wasn’t feeling any contractions so I went back to sleep thinking, “She’s not coming today.”  I had been feeling Braxton Hicks for the past couple of weeks and thought that it was having another fake contraction when I woke up at 5:30 am to go pee.  And, there it was… my first sign that I was going into labor… I was having a bloody show.  So that wasn’t a Braxton Hick… it was a really contraction.  Oh joy!  Finally!

I calmly woke William up and told him that we should get ready to go to the hospital.  Since my contractions were not coming one after the other, I figured I had time to put myself together, straighten my hair, put on some make-up, etc.  Don’t ask me why, but I just wanted to look good for this delivery.  Lol!  William on the hand was running around, getting the car out of the garage and putting my suitcase in.  He was going from our labor experience with Mark where I was fully dilated by the time I got to the hospital.  I think he was afraid that it would happen again.  He was in a hurry to get me to the hospital. 

We arrived at the hospital at around 6:30 am.  I called Carolyn (my MIL) on the way to the hospital to tell her where we were headed and laughing told her that they probably would send me home cause my contractions were not coming so fast and my water had not broken.  She doubted they would do that and she was right.  After answering a bunch of questions in triage I was checked and told that I was 5 cm dilated.  I was then told to walk around to help my labor progress.

Boy did it progress.  An hour later I was 8 cm dilated and the contractions were coming fast.  I was moved into labor and delivery room to finish dilating.  I’m not sure how long that took but I think it went by fast.  I have to say, I’m really grateful for the birthing ball.  It, along with William’s wonderful massages, helped lessen the pain of the contractions.  During all the contractions my water never broke so the midwife had to do that for me.

I have to say the hardest part of my delivery was pushing Caitlin out… something I brought on myself.  You see, the day before I went to the hospital I had a bowl of raisin bran, but I never went to the bathroom that day.  Now, lying there on the delivery bed, I was afraid my body would let me down!  I was terrified I was going to poop.  William, Janice (my midwife), and the nurse would tell me to push and I would cry back, “No, I don’t want to poop!’  They would yell back, “Just poop, its okay!”  Thankfully I did not poop (at least that’s what William told me and I believe him cause he never lies to me), and after 20 minutes of pushing Caitlin was born.

For those interested, total labor and delivery time was 4 hours.  And, I did it without any painkillers or an epidural.  I know I shouldn’t gloat, but I am very proud of the fact I was able to do it naturally.

It seems like only yesterday Caitlin was born, but then again, it seems like she has been a part of this family forever.  I don’t know what it is about Caitlin that has me completely infatuated with her.  I love my boys, but I feel that Caitlin is special.  Maybe it’s because she was my wish come true for having a girl.  Oh, and she has the most adorable chubby cheeks that I can’t stop kissing.  🙂

Although the last two months have been crazy, I wouldn’t trade it for the world.  My family is complete and life is good.  Family and friends always ask me how I’m doing and I reply with “I’m fine,” to which they look at me with amazement.  I won’t lie, it’s been tough but I seem to be managing.  Of course some days are better than other.  I haven’t gone crazy yet, which is a plus.  When I do go crazy, that’s when you need to worry about me.  For now, I’m fine.

PS:  I have to give a shout out to my beloved cousin Kawshi who came to visit us at just the right time.  She watched the boys while I was in the hospital and did a wonderful job.  Kawshi, if you can watch my kids anytime you want.  I’ll feed you in return.

Sleepless night

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It’s 4 in the morning… I can’t sleep.  🙁  I tried, knowing that I need my energy to deal with my boys… but I still can’t.  Feeling sad. 

William laughs at me… he say other mothers’ are excited cause they only have a week to go.  I, on the other hand, am upset because she’s not here yet.  I was so sure she would be here by now.  To add to my annoyance, he gets happier with everyday that passes without her arrival.  Of course he is not the one pregnant, carrying all this extra weight, waddling around after crazy kids, suffering from uncomfortable Braxton hicks, itchy skin, constipation, etc.  He’s just excited thinking that we are going to have a compliant baby.  I doubt it… cause she hasn’t listened to any of my requests.  Figure she’s going to wait for the most inopportune moment to make her grand entrance.  He’s also excited about the idea that she’s going to be nice and fat the longer she stays in me.  Grrr!  I don’t want a fat baby… she may not be able to fit into all the clothes I bought her while I was under the assumption that she was going to be little like my boys.  I’m not liking him too much right now for all his annoying thoughts.

Funny, she’s not even out and she’s already causing me grief.  And, I was so excited about her birth.  Now I don’t care anymore… I just want it done and over with.

PS:  You don’t have to comment on how stupid I sound right now.  I already know it… doesn’t stop me from being miserable though.  Besides, I’m just a venting, tired fool.

Still waiting…

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There’s a full moon tonight, not to mention the lunar eclipse we had early this morning.  My midwife mentioned how she has three mothers in labor today.  Sadly, neither one of those mothers is me.  I’m still holding on over here.  According to my latest check up, I am now 3 cm dilated, 90% effaced, and the baby’s head is at -2.  I’m not completely sure but I think I need to be 4 cm dilated and 100% effaced before I start having true labor contractions.  With the way I have been dilating, it may be another week before this baby shows up.

Here is an interesting tidbit I learned today.  This morning William asked me if there is a male version for the term midwife… something in the way of midhusband perhaps.   Turns out, there is no male version for that word, although there are male midwives.  They are mostly found in the military and yes, they do deliver babies.  The word midwife is translated from the old German word mit wife which means “with wife” or “with a woman” and was once a predominately female profession.  The reason I find this interesting is because it is the first profession that I have encountered where the label is biased towards women.  William thinks this is sexist!  LOL!

The waiting game

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Given that Aidan was born at 33 weeks and 6 days, Mark was born at exactly 37 weeks, and with this pregnancy my cervix had started softening at 32 weeks, I am surprised that the baby has not arrived yet.  I was so sure she was going to be here by now, but as the days roll by I see no sign that she is about to make her debut any time soon.  With each day that passes without her arrival I grow more nervous and anxious about the future.  How is my labor going to be?  Is it going to be short like the one I had with Mark, or is it going to be long and drawn out?  You think I’d be a pro with the labor and delivery now that I’ve had two kids.  But this pregnancy feels different, so I’m not sure how things are going to go.  Besides, my previous two deliveries have been very different from each other.  With Aidan, my water broke first.  I was then given medication to try to delay the contractions and the labor, but that didn’t work for too long.  I ended up having contractions at midnight and Aidan was born within four hours.  With Mark, I started having contraction and a bloody show before my water even broke.  Mark was born not long after that.  It will be interesting to see how this baby’s delivery goes.

There are other things that worry me as well.  How is the baby going to be?  Will everything be okay with her?  How will my boys handle the new addition to the family?  Will they adjust with ease or will they be difficult.  I’m already worried that Mark will have a hard time dealing with the baby.  He is at that age that he needs to be the center of attention.  So, I’m not sure how he is going to deal with playing second fiddle.  More importantly, how am I going to handle three kids who are all under the age of five?  Will my sanity survive?

*SIGH*

I realize that it’s better for everyone, including the baby, if she incubates for longer.  But this waiting is driving me crazy and it just gives me more time to steep in my worries.  William says that I shouldn’t fret about the unknown.  When it comes time, we’ll know what to do and we’ll deal with it.  I know he’s right.  Who knows, things may turn out better than what I am imagining right now.  But, it still doesn’t help to completely calm my nerves.  I’m still a little scared and I probably will be this way until the baby shows up.

Pregnancy update:  Saw the midwife yesterday.  At 37 weeks and 2 days, I am 2 cm dilated, 80% effaced, and the baby’s head is at -3.  She said that she could feel the baby’s head.  That excited and creeped me out at the same time!

36 Weeks!

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Hooray, I made it to 36 weeks! 

Okay, I realized that for many pregnant women hitting the 36 week mark only means they have another 4 weeks to go before they get to see their precious baby.  But for me, given that Aidan was born at 33 weeks therefore putting me in the category of women who could potentially have a premature baby, making it to 36 weeks is a grandiose occasion.  It means that my baby will be born full term and I no longer have to worry about having another premature baby (which is not fun at all). 

Yay!  Now it’s just a waiting game.

Speaking of games, my husband’s family and some of my friends are making predictions on when they think the baby will make her debut.  Here are the current guesses:

  • Laurie – August 13
  • Debbie – August 17
  • Patrick – August 18
  • Tawny – August 19
  • William & Carolyn – August 20
  • Ryan – August 21
  • Dylan – August 22
  • Rick – August 24
  • Sean – September 06

Btw, you are welcome to voice your prediction on when you think the baby will arrive.

Pregnancy update:  The midwife examined me today.  She says that I am almost 70% effaced, 1 cm dilated, and the baby’s head is in the -4 position in relation to my cervix.

And finally, I leave you with a not so flattering picture of my belly at 36 weeks.  I blame the dress!  Enjoy.  🙂

36weeks.JPG

The pitfalls of nursing

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August is National Breastfeeding Month. Every mother knows or at least has been informed about the benefits of breastfeeding:

  • For the baby, it is a complete source of nutrition containing the correct balance of fat, sugar, water, and protein.
  • It contains antibodies that help build the baby’s immune system and protect them from several viruses and certain forms of bacteria.
  • For the mom, breastfeeding help burn extra calories making it easier to lose the weight she gained during pregnancy.
  • It lowers the mom’s risk of getting breast and ovarian cancers.
  • It’s cheaper than bottle feeding and is readily available.
  • The list of benefits goes on and on and on…

Yet, with all the benefits that nursing provides, there are some down sides to it. Nobody talks about the pain the mother suffers from engorged breasts, improper latching, clogged milk ducts, etc. There is also the initial frustration felt by the mother as she learns the ins and outs of nursing, i.e., correctly holding the baby, finding which position works best for both her and the baby, etc. Given time most of the ailments are remedied as the mother gains more experience with nursing. However, there is one pitfall to nursing that I find hard to deal with, at least for the first couple of months of the baby’s life… being the sole provider of nutrition.

Don’t get me wrong. I love nursing. I nursed Aidan till he was nine months old and Mark till he was 11 months. And, I plan to nurse my baby girl for as long as I can. What gets to me is that during the first couple of months, while the babies are exclusively breastfed, I have no freedom. Because nobody else is equipped to nurse the baby but myself, I feel imprisoned; strapped to my nursing chair at odd hours of the day and night, feeding, burping, and changing the baby. Sure, I can pump some milk out and have William feed the baby, but pumping is a lot of work. Not only does it take time from an already busy schedule, it can sometimes lead to engorged breast because now the body thinks the baby needs more milk and starts producing more.

This frustration coupled with exhaustion due to the lack of sleep and having to care for a newborn and a 21 month old, not to mention the sight of my husband sleeping soundly while I tried to burp Mark and put him back to sleep so that I could try to get some rest, made me snap last year. I angrily yelled at William, “I don’t know how you managed to convince me to have another baby,” picked up Mark, and stormed out the room. I felt horrible as soon as the words came out of my mouth and have been plagued with guilt ever since. How could I have said such a horrible thing? What kind of mother am I? Was I an atrocious mother for saying such a thing?

It wasn’t until recently, after reading the You Can Breastfeed article in the August 2007 issue of Baby Talk magazine that I started to come to terms with the comment I made a little over a year ago. I love my baby boy. I don’t ever regret the decision I made to have him, but fatigue, the feeling of being “tied to the clock,” and anger that William was able to get a decent night sleep while I couldn’t, led to my break down.

William had no idea what demon had gotten into me and that was my fault. How could he? Trying to be the dutiful wife, I tried to make life easy for him by shouldering most of the burden of baby rearing. I never told him how tired and frustrated I was feeling, and I tried as hard as I could not to ask for help. Of course he helped out whenever he could but I needed more from him and I never voiced it. I figured that he could read my mind and would eventually come to my aid. Boy was I wrong! Like every normal human being, husbands are not mind readers. They need to be told if there is something you want from them.

I have learned my lesson and I think time has made me a little bit wiser. I don’t want a repeat of my stupid actions from last year. I already know that there is no way I am going to be able to handle taking care of three infants all by myself. So I have warned William… I told him that I need him to be more proactive this time around and help me out as much as he can. I’m also going to try not to be so bashful about asking him for help. After all, how can I be a dutiful wife and a super mom if I am tired, frustrated, and angry at the world?

In conclusion, here is my advice to all the moms and moms-to-be out there (especially those who are nursing or choose to nurse their child), who may find themselves in a similar situation: If you want to enjoy the time you spend with you baby, if years from now you want to look back at the time you spent with you baby without any regret for what you had said or done, IF YOU WANT TO BE A SUPER MOM, then don’t hesitate to ask for and accept help. It’s the only way you can get through these often trying times with your sanity in check.

In response to Weighing In

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I have had several comments made in response to the post on my emotional break down due to my ever increasing weight.  (See:  May 31, 2007, Weighing in… update).  First of all I want thank everyone for their concern and support.  Your words of encouragement really mean a lot to me.  Secondly, I just want you to know that I was not seeking attention or sympathy when I wrote the post.  Writing the post served as a cathartic experience and helped me deal with the demon that plagued me… at least for the most part.  This is not to say that I am over my weight issue, but for the most part I am trying to be positive about it knowing that I have done my best trying to control the weight gain.  It also helps a tad bit that every now and then my husband mentions how much better I look this pregnancy compared to my previous two.  Which makes me wonder, “How big of a whale did I look like when I was pregnant with Aidan and Mark?”  There goes that blasted demon again… let’s not even go there.

Anyways, for those of you who are interested, here is an update on my pregnancy so far.  At 32 weeks I had an ultrasound to check on the length of my cervix.  Turns out my cervix has softened.  For those of you unfamiliar with the pregnancy mumble jumble, a softened cervix is the beginning stage of labor.  I believe it also called effacing.  After that comes dilation and contractions, and then the great pushing, and finally the baby.  Although I have not been put on bed rest, I have been told to take it easy.  This means no more working out for me.  🙁  I have had a hard time dealing with the fact that I can’t work out especially in the face of my ballooning weight, but like I said earlier, I’m trying to stay positive about this.  Damn that demon!  Who cares if I gain 40 lbs and look like I swallowed the whole whale, at least my baby will be healthy, and most importantly, not premature.  🙂   

I will be 34 weeks tomorrow (Sunday, July 29, 2007), which means I only have two more weeks to go before the baby is considered full term and we are in the clear.  Yay!  I can’t wait to see my baby girl.  I already believe that she will have my nose.  Oh, I’m so excited.

PS:  At the last ultrasound, we found out that the baby weighed 4 lbs 2 oz.