Given that Aidan was born at 33 weeks and 6 days, Mark was born at exactly 37 weeks, and with this pregnancy my cervix had started softening at 32 weeks, I am surprised that the baby has not arrived yet.  I was so sure she was going to be here by now, but as the days roll by I see no sign that she is about to make her debut any time soon.  With each day that passes without her arrival I grow more nervous and anxious about the future.  How is my labor going to be?  Is it going to be short like the one I had with Mark, or is it going to be long and drawn out?  You think I’d be a pro with the labor and delivery now that I’ve had two kids.  But this pregnancy feels different, so I’m not sure how things are going to go.  Besides, my previous two deliveries have been very different from each other.  With Aidan, my water broke first.  I was then given medication to try to delay the contractions and the labor, but that didn’t work for too long.  I ended up having contractions at midnight and Aidan was born within four hours.  With Mark, I started having contraction and a bloody show before my water even broke.  Mark was born not long after that.  It will be interesting to see how this baby’s delivery goes.

There are other things that worry me as well.  How is the baby going to be?  Will everything be okay with her?  How will my boys handle the new addition to the family?  Will they adjust with ease or will they be difficult.  I’m already worried that Mark will have a hard time dealing with the baby.  He is at that age that he needs to be the center of attention.  So, I’m not sure how he is going to deal with playing second fiddle.  More importantly, how am I going to handle three kids who are all under the age of five?  Will my sanity survive?

*SIGH*

I realize that it’s better for everyone, including the baby, if she incubates for longer.  But this waiting is driving me crazy and it just gives me more time to steep in my worries.  William says that I shouldn’t fret about the unknown.  When it comes time, we’ll know what to do and we’ll deal with it.  I know he’s right.  Who knows, things may turn out better than what I am imagining right now.  But, it still doesn’t help to completely calm my nerves.  I’m still a little scared and I probably will be this way until the baby shows up.

Pregnancy update:  Saw the midwife yesterday.  At 37 weeks and 2 days, I am 2 cm dilated, 80% effaced, and the baby’s head is at -3.  She said that she could feel the baby’s head.  That excited and creeped me out at the same time!