Category Archives: Pregnancy

Weighing in…. update

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I had an emotional break down yesterday.  The reason… my weight, as usual!

I started my progesterone shots three weeks ago.  Knowing that these shots will make me gain weight that is additional to what I gain with being pregnant, I increased my workouts from 3 days a week to 5-6 days a week, between 20-40 minutes a session, making sure I burned between 250-500 calories each session.  There are days when I am just so exhausted all I want to do is go to sleep, but I still drag my weary body to the elliptical and work out.  Sadly, all this exercising has done nothing to lessen the weight gain.  Hence the breakdown.  In the last two weeks I have gained five pounds and I am miserable.

Granted, the first week I got my progesterone shot, I indulged myself in a huge slab of Tiramisu during the course of that week (hey, I am pregnant) which could explain some of the two pounds I gained that week, but since then I have tried to be on good eating behavior, limiting my sugar intake and trying to eat less.  So my only explanation for gaining the three pounds this week is that it has something to do with the progesterone shot.

How can I be so sure that it is the progesterone shot making me gain all the additional weight you ask?  Well, I weighed myself on Wednesday to give the nurse that administers my shots an accurate measurement (the nurse comes to my house to give me the shot).  I also weigh myself (I know I’m obsessed) on Sundays for my own weight tracking chart.  It is within those four days that my weight jumped three pounds.  I know that I am supposed to gain weight when I am pregnant, but for all the activity I do, I should be gaining the normal one pound a week, not three!  So yes, I do blame the progesterone for my excessive weight gain.

Hence the reason for my breakdown yesterday.  It just seems that no matter what I try to do to control my weight gain, it’s not working.  It is out of my hands.  I am just going to gain weight incontrollable, no matter how much I exercise and/or cut my food intake.  🙁   Another reason for my misery, William predicted that I am going to gain 40 pounds this pregnancy.  Looking at the way I am gaining weight, he is going to be right.  My desire to prove him wrong was one of my motivations to keep my weight gain low, but now that I have no control on my weight gain, all my hopes to not gain 40 lbs+ has been thrown out the window, because I know that it’s not going to happen.

Additionally, these shots have me on an emotional roller coaster.  Everything gets to me.  It’s horrible.  I find myself depressed for reasons I cannot explain, and the kids have been a major source for my annoyance.  I mean, I yell at them for everything, when before I used to just let some things pass because it was not worth yelling about.  For example, a couple of days ago, I was yelling at Aidan for not finishing his yogurt.  Come on, how stupid was that.  But like my weight, I cannot seem to control my anger.

Your next question is, why don’t I just stop doing the shots?  My answer, I don’t want to.  All I have to do is remember Aidan’s birth and there is no way in hell I will risk having another premature baby.  Aidan was born at 33 weeks.  I didn’t even get a chance to hold him when he was born.  Instead he was whisked away to NICU.  When I finally got a chance to see him for the first time, he had wires all over him and he was hooked up to all sorts of weird machines.  For a first time mom seeing her newborn in such a position, it was heartbreaking.  I just stood by his crib crying, afraid to hold him due to fear that he might break.  Granted he came out of it okay and now is a three year old monster, but there is no way that I ever want to go through that again.

Aidan’s First DayAidan at birth

So I will bear the painful shots that leave my butt sore for days, the crazy, uncontrollable weight gain, and the mood swings.  And my husband will have to learn to deal with and be supportive of my weekly meltdowns.  And you my dear reader (assuming I have any), will have to put up with reading additionally postings of me complaining about my weight.  All this torture just so that I can have a full- term, healthy baby girl… and it will be worth it in the end!  At least that is what I tell myself to prevent another full blown crying session.  *SIGH*  And yes, I will keep working out, with the hope that once the baby is born, all this weight will be just a little bit easier to lose.  *DOUBLE SIGH*

Belly laughs

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I get weekly baby updates from Babycenter.com.  The emails are often closed with a sectioned called “Belly Laughs” which usually have funny statements and/or images dealing with pregnancy and motherhood.  Here are a few pictures that made my belly laugh.

I can definitely relate to this one, especially when the boys drive me crazy!

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This next image does not even apply to me, but how I wish to be the mom who does not look like she swallowed a house.

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:(

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William is mean to me!

He says that I need to stop shopping for our daughter (at least until she is born) or else I’ll jinx it and we could end up having a boy!  He is trying to burst my bubble and it looks like he is doing a good job of it.  Now I’m scared and upset that the ultrasound tech might be wrong… what if our little girl turns out to be a boy?

Still I don’t think it will prevent me from doing a little shopping here and there.  Have you seen all the cute, adorable stuff that’s out there for little girls?  It’s so hard to resist!

Color me beautiful

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The other night William said, “I hope our baby girl has dark skin and looks just like you.”  (Btw, we haven’t had the ultrasound yet but he thinks we are having a girl).  As cute and adorable as that comment was, I couldn’t help thinking about a blog I had read on Mad Momma which talked about how, in the Eastern culture, dark skinned people are considered less attractive than their light skinned counterparts.  It’s sad but true.  The Eastern cultures’ perception of beauty is based on the color of a person’s skin.  Basically, one can have the most ghastliest of features but as long as the person has a milky complexion, then s/he is considered beautiful.  How funny is that? 

However, I must admit that in my youth I was a victim of such thoughts.  I would often look upon my lighter skinned friends and wish that I was one of them.  I have since grown out of that phase.  Although it didn’t help me feel any better when, a couple of years ago, while visiting my grandparents in Sri Lanka, a family friend of theirs stopped by.  She had the audacity to say, as she looked at me with pity, “I thought you were fairer.”  Of course, politeness refrained me from replying back, but if I had my way, I would have given her a piece of my mind and maybe a foot up her a** too as I kicked her to the curb. 

Since I am on the topic of skin color, I have to mention a little anecdote about my honey colored cousin living in Canada.  In an attempt to give her hair “natural highlights” she spent her summer sitting out by the lake, her hair soaked with henna and beer while the rest of her body, from shoulder to feet, was wrapped in towels and blankets so that she did not get “black.”  (I have no idea how she protected her face from the sun.)  The image that was conjured up when she told me what she was doing was hilarious and is one that words cannot adequately describe.  Just goes to show that you can take the girl out of the East but you cannot take the East out of the girl.  On her behalf, she does live in a part of Canada that is populated with Asians and Southeast Asians.  So, if she wants to be considered pretty in their eyes, I can see why she went through all that work to protect herself from getting dark.

As for me, it wasn’t until I moved to the States that I learned to love the rich chocolate color that I have been blessed with.  It helps to know that there are people out here who spend hours getting baked in the sun and/or spend millions in tanning salons just to get close to my beautiful coloring.  I now view those who judge a person’s attractiveness based on their skin color as shallow and small minded.  And for my baby, no matter what skin color it is born with, it will be gorgeous… especially if it looks anything like its dad.

The great weigh in

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Ugh!  Forget the nausea, the constipation, the fatigue, etc, the worse part about being pregnant is the constant weight gain that does not stop until after the baby is born.  I always cringe at the doctor’s office as the nurse moves the weight on the scale higher and higher.  Definitely not fun!  My petite frame does not handle this weight gain with the greatest of dignity.  After I’ve put on a couple of pounds, I look like I have swallowed a baby hippo or maybe a baby whale.

At my last visit to the doctor, the midwife cheerfully mentioned how most women tend to look bigger earlier with each subsequent pregnancy.  Great!  On a more positive note, I have been doing much better with my weight this time around.  Although I still look like I have swallowed the baby whale, I can happily say that at eighteen weeks, I am eight pounds lighter than when I was at the same stage of pregnancy with Mark (I didn’t keep a weekly record of my weight when I was pregnant with Aidan… silly me).  Other than the tub of ice cream I had last night and half a loaf of french bread slathered with butter that I had this morning, for the most part I have been good with not giving into my carbs and sugar cravings.  At least I am trying to be good.

At my first visit, the doctor recommended that I keep my weight gain within 25-35 lbs.  I just laughed at him.  After gaining 50+ lbs when I was pregnant with Mark, would I really be able to keep my weight gain under 35 lbs.  It has now become my goal is to do exactly that… I am trying my best not to gain more than 35 lbs.  More importantly, I aim to prove my husband, who so “tactfully” commented that I will end up gaining at least 40 lbs this pregnancy, wrong!  Of course, this is easier said than done, considering the doctor will have me start using progesterone soon. 

*Aside:  Because Aidan was born early, I am considered a high risk pregnancy.  According to the doctor, using progesterone has been shown to decrease the chances of having a premature baby by at least 50%.  On the flip side, progesterone cause one to gain weight… a lot of weight.  Just what I need right now!*

Anyway, time will tell how well I manage my weight with this pregnancy and if I achieve my goal.  With 22 weeks to go, stay tuned for the continuing saga that is my weight.  And, if I do meet my goal, I am going to celebrate with a huge piece of chocolate cake smothered in ice cream.  😀  

A rose by any other name

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With 25 weeks to go, I have already got suggestions for names from Will’s brother Chad.  I quote from his email, “In the interest of science  you should name the new baby with a super ghetto name then we can see who gets the best job in the future.” 

In case it’s a girl: 

     Laquandra

     Nasheera’ 

     Nokia Chanel

     Trishonka Lexus 

     Diamond 

In case it’s a boy: 

     Dewayne

     Gerome Jaccob 

     Pharrell Malik 

     Daimler Benz 

Thanks Chad.  William and I will keep these names in mind when we start playing the naming game

She said what…?

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My mother is deeply upset about my pregnancy. In the wake of the news she has said some ridiculous comments that I would have found rude had I not found it humorous. Here’s a few of them:

“You just want to live poor.” My response: “We are not poor, but we are not rich either. We manage.”

“You are almost 30 and you have nothing” My response: “I have a lot. I have two healthy kids, and a wonderful husband.” To which she replied, “If that’s what you want to think.”

And finally, “You are like an uneducated person, just having babies every year!”

I had no response to the latter statement. I mean, did that even dignify a response. Let’s put aside the fact that I have my Bachelor’s in Engineering and Master’s in Education… “uneducated!” It’s an insult to all mothers out there who have more than one child, and heaven forbid, if they had them within a couple of years from each other. My mother-in-law has six kids and I happen to think she is one of the smartest, most educated, woman out there. In fact, I bet she could give my mother a run for her money if their smarts were put to the test.

I understand that my mother’s comments stem from that fact that she is concerned about my financial security. With only one income and soon three kids to feed, we are cutting it very close, but Will and I are thinking about our financial future and have plans for it. Granted, it’s going to take a while before we meet our goals, but at least we are thinking about it. Sadly, my mother seems to think that you can not be happy unless you are rolling in dough. I happen to think that having all the money in the world does not make a person happy. Sure, it gives the person piece of mind, but happiness money cannot buy. And, although Will and I are not by any means rich, I can assuredly say that we are happy with what we have been blessed with. That’s all that matters to me.

So, for now, I just take my mother’s comments with a grain of salt and hope that she will eventually come around to realizing that having a baby, be it one, two, three, or more, is a gift and something that should be treasured not insulted. The money aspect of it will eventually work itself out. As my aunt says, “People have to start somewhere.” And, Will and I have definitely made a great start.

The big news

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So my husband is waiting for my first “cool” entry blog and I must say that I’m at a loss for words.  It’s just that, to me, a blog is like a public diary, and I have never been one who has successfully kept a diary of any sort be it private or public.  In addition, I don’t feel I’m as eloquent as many of my blogging friends.  Even though I often have thoughts racing through my mind, I’m never able to write them down or state it in a manner that makes much sense.  So sad, I know!  Oh well, at least I’m trying right, and that’s all that matters.

Being that this is my first official blog, I think that this is the perfect time to announce to the world that William and I are going to have another baby.  Yes, we are pregnant again…for the third time!  I know there are going to be lots of people out there who think we are crazy to have another baby so soon after Mark, but let me assure you, we did not plan on this happening.  In fact, I was still nursing and on the pill when I found out.  Boy, were we surprised, not to mention shocked.  But the shock and the surprise has worn off only to be replaced with excitement.  This pregnancy feels so different only because I am now surrounded by people who are excited about me being pregnant.

It wasn’t like that with Aidan and Mark.  I was still living with my mom in Florida when Aidan was conceived.  Even though my family adores Aidan, they weren’t so happy when they found out I was pregnant with him as Will and I weren’t married.  With Mark, Will and I were living in Gainesville, where not many people cared that we were expecting another bundle of joy.  We are now living in Arizona, close to Will’s family and they are overjoyed at the prospect of having another grandbaby.  Also, except for my mom, everybody in my family is happy for us.  What a difference it makes to a pregnant woman’s state of mind when she is surrounded by family who are thrilled that she is expecting a miracle.  I’m so happy and did I mention excited!  This is what I imagined being pregnant would be like and I glad I’m finally getting the chance to experience it.