Category Archives: The Voices Speak

Post baby bellies

I was looking through the Baby Center web site when I came across this page – Post Baby Bellies.  *WARNING:  View web link at your own risk; not for those with strongly negative body image issues.* 

Wish I had that warning when I clicked on the link.  Let me say it did wonders to my self esteem.  The majority of the women who posted pictures of their post baby bellies actually had none.  If the web site thinks they are going to make all the normal bodied mothers out there feel comfortable about their after baby bellies by allowing these freaks of nature to post pictures of their non-existent baby bellies then they are sadly mistaken.  On the other hand, if they want to encourage mothers to head to the nearest plastic surgeon, then this is a great web site. 

Yes, I’m a jealous, bitter woman!

Although I have managed to lose most of the baby weight (in fact I think I weigh less than I did before I started having kids), after incubating, birthing, and nursing three babies, my body, as I consider it, is deformed!  *Okay “deformed” is a harsh description, but it’s my body and I’ll think of it the way I please.*  Kate Gosselin’s description of her stomach after giving birth to sextuplets, “jowls of a dog,” is the best way to describe my post baby belly too.  Lol… try not to picture it please.  It is not pretty.  *Again, I might be exaggerating a bit, but like I said before, it is my body blah, blah, blah…*  Now, please don’t think I’m trying to fish for compliments here.  There are days, albeit after much struggle and tears, I manage to get myself to look decent.  It takes a lot of work to camouflage all the baby fat that has redeposited itself on to other parts of my body in addition to my belly, giving me those “lovely” saddlebags/muffin tops, etc, but I do manage it.

Anyway, my point to this post is that most mothers out there do not have bellies like Heidi Klum.  For most mothers, my MIL excluded (she’s had six kids and still looks fabulous in a bikini where as you would not catch me dead in one anymore… not that you would want to either), their stomachs show the wear, tear, and sag of their pregnancy scars, and that is okay… you are normal, you are human.  To those mother’s whose bellies can give a supermodel a run for their money, I hate you… and I mean this in the nicest of ways.  Wish I could have a belly like yours.  Btw, I have to give props to the normal bodies women who posted their pictures on Baby Center.  You are strong and brave and I’m proud of you.  If it weren’t for your pictures I would think something was wrong with me and my mommy tummy and I probably would be hiding under a rock.  Thank you.

Now can somebody recommend a good plastic surgeon to me?  😉

A mother’s gift… a daughter’s pride

My former boss would send her mother flowers on her (former boss’) birthday.  It was her way of thanking her mother for her birth and for raising her.  I thought this was an ingenious idea; after all where would we be if not for our mothers.  Which had me thinking, with my 30th birthday (yes I’m that old) around the corner, I wanted to take the time to acknowledge my mother and everything she has done for me.

30 years ago my mother had a dream of being happily married to the man she loved and living the good life.  Sadly, her dream was never realized.  Instead she found herself stuck in an unfaithful, loveless marriage filled with physical and emotional abuse. 

All the crap she was dealing may be the reason why she seemed so emotionally unavailable to me.  Growing up, my mother and I never had a close relationship.  If I ever needed someone to talk to, she was not the first person I would go to… in fact she may have not been my last either.  I just didn’t think she would able to relate to what I was going through.  It never occurred to me that my mother was too busy trying to protect us and keep us safe; she didn’t have the time or the energy for such things as “motherly affection.”

Yet through it all, she persevered with her goal to make a better life for herself and her children.  If it were not for her my sister and I would not be living where we are or living the way we do.  Looking back now I never realized everything my mom went through for us – the countless sleepless nights, the worry, the anxiety.

So here I stand, 30 years later, watching my own kids grow and thinking of all the obstacles and heartbreaks my mother endured in order to give my sister and me a life different from hers.  My family and I live a blessed life thanks in large part to her hard work and generosity.  And, even at 60+ she still works hard to make sure that her children (and her grandchildren) will never want for anything.

I’m having a hard time finishing this post.  I am filled with emotions as I think about what my mother has done for and given me and my kids.  Words just don’t seem to enough to convey all the love, gratitude, appreciation I have for her.  So instead I will end with a few quotes I found appropriate for this post and with a simple thank you.

Thank you, Ammi!

I cannot forget my mother.  She is my bridge.  When I needed to get across, she steadied herself enough for me to run across safely.
~Renita Weems

All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel Mother.
~Abraham Lincoln

Hundreds of dewdrops to greet the dawn,
Hundreds of bees in the purple clover,
Hundreds of butterflies on the lawn,
But only one mother the wide world over.
~George Cooper

My mother is a poem I’ll never be able to write,
though everything I write is a poem to my mother.
~Sharon Doubiago

Land shark

Aidan was nine months when he got his fist tooth and Mark was ten months when his came in.  Ten days shy of seven months, I wasn’t expecting to see any signs of Caitlin’s first tooth for at least two more months.  So you can imagine how surprised I was when I felt the sharp budding of her first tooth while massaging her gums yesterday.  The tooth is still not visible but it definitely can be felt.  I just hope that she does not turn out to be a biter!  🙂

Btw, the title for this post came from my MIL’s response when I texted her with the news of Caitlin’s tooth.

Field trip to the Phoenix Zoo

Animals in the Phoenix Zoo be afraid… be very afraid… the Dubels’ are coming to visit!

William and I had a computer scare this past week.  It’s seems that one of my hard drives is corrupted and ate up most of the pictures from our trip to the Phoenix Zoo.  Needless to say I was depressed about the loss, but thankfully William was able to do some hocus-pocus and recover all of the pictures.  Gotta love that man!  Thanks to him you are now able to view our family trip to the zoo.  Enjoy.

Field trip to the Phoenix Zoo

Standing ovation

Much to her delight, Caitlin can now pull herself up.  You should see her joy at her latest accomplishment. 

I’ve said it before and I will say it again… She is growing up much too fast!

Standing