So Mark gets a hold of the stinky, waterproof diaper rash ointment and decides to liberally apply it on himself while seated on one of William’s beloved sofas.  Needless to say, when I found Mark, he wasn’t the only think covered in the ointment.  I tired cleaning up as much as I could, but that nasty stuff was putting up a fight.  With dinner preparations and complaining kids to deal with I halted my efforts to get rid of the stuff on the couch and called William to let him know what he was coming home to.  William being anal about his sofas had this to say:

William:  Why was he on the couch?
My reply:  He was wearing a diaper! (Aside:  One day I decided to let Mark go without a diaper just to see if he was ready for potty training,  He ended up leaving a skid mark on William’s cherished recliner – which has since been cleaned – to which William has suggested that Mark not be allowed on the sofas without a diaper)
William:  I don’t care if he has a diaper, he shouldn’t be on the couch.
My reply: *Rolling my eye* *Hang up!*

My thoughts:  If you want to treat the boy like an animal, how bout we just tie a leash on him and have him sit/stay on the kitchen floor.