Category Archives: Ammi

A mother’s gift… a daughter’s pride

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My former boss would send her mother flowers on her (former boss’) birthday.  It was her way of thanking her mother for her birth and for raising her.  I thought this was an ingenious idea; after all where would we be if not for our mothers.  Which had me thinking, with my 30th birthday (yes I’m that old) around the corner, I wanted to take the time to acknowledge my mother and everything she has done for me.

30 years ago my mother had a dream of being happily married to the man she loved and living the good life.  Sadly, her dream was never realized.  Instead she found herself stuck in an unfaithful, loveless marriage filled with physical and emotional abuse. 

All the crap she was dealing may be the reason why she seemed so emotionally unavailable to me.  Growing up, my mother and I never had a close relationship.  If I ever needed someone to talk to, she was not the first person I would go to… in fact she may have not been my last either.  I just didn’t think she would able to relate to what I was going through.  It never occurred to me that my mother was too busy trying to protect us and keep us safe; she didn’t have the time or the energy for such things as “motherly affection.”

Yet through it all, she persevered with her goal to make a better life for herself and her children.  If it were not for her my sister and I would not be living where we are or living the way we do.  Looking back now I never realized everything my mom went through for us – the countless sleepless nights, the worry, the anxiety.

So here I stand, 30 years later, watching my own kids grow and thinking of all the obstacles and heartbreaks my mother endured in order to give my sister and me a life different from hers.  My family and I live a blessed life thanks in large part to her hard work and generosity.  And, even at 60+ she still works hard to make sure that her children (and her grandchildren) will never want for anything.

I’m having a hard time finishing this post.  I am filled with emotions as I think about what my mother has done for and given me and my kids.  Words just don’t seem to enough to convey all the love, gratitude, appreciation I have for her.  So instead I will end with a few quotes I found appropriate for this post and with a simple thank you.

Thank you, Ammi!

I cannot forget my mother.  She is my bridge.  When I needed to get across, she steadied herself enough for me to run across safely.
~Renita Weems

All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel Mother.
~Abraham Lincoln

Hundreds of dewdrops to greet the dawn,
Hundreds of bees in the purple clover,
Hundreds of butterflies on the lawn,
But only one mother the wide world over.
~George Cooper

My mother is a poem I’ll never be able to write,
though everything I write is a poem to my mother.
~Sharon Doubiago

She said what…?

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My mother is deeply upset about my pregnancy. In the wake of the news she has said some ridiculous comments that I would have found rude had I not found it humorous. Here’s a few of them:

“You just want to live poor.” My response: “We are not poor, but we are not rich either. We manage.”

“You are almost 30 and you have nothing” My response: “I have a lot. I have two healthy kids, and a wonderful husband.” To which she replied, “If that’s what you want to think.”

And finally, “You are like an uneducated person, just having babies every year!”

I had no response to the latter statement. I mean, did that even dignify a response. Let’s put aside the fact that I have my Bachelor’s in Engineering and Master’s in Education… “uneducated!” It’s an insult to all mothers out there who have more than one child, and heaven forbid, if they had them within a couple of years from each other. My mother-in-law has six kids and I happen to think she is one of the smartest, most educated, woman out there. In fact, I bet she could give my mother a run for her money if their smarts were put to the test.

I understand that my mother’s comments stem from that fact that she is concerned about my financial security. With only one income and soon three kids to feed, we are cutting it very close, but Will and I are thinking about our financial future and have plans for it. Granted, it’s going to take a while before we meet our goals, but at least we are thinking about it. Sadly, my mother seems to think that you can not be happy unless you are rolling in dough. I happen to think that having all the money in the world does not make a person happy. Sure, it gives the person piece of mind, but happiness money cannot buy. And, although Will and I are not by any means rich, I can assuredly say that we are happy with what we have been blessed with. That’s all that matters to me.

So, for now, I just take my mother’s comments with a grain of salt and hope that she will eventually come around to realizing that having a baby, be it one, two, three, or more, is a gift and something that should be treasured not insulted. The money aspect of it will eventually work itself out. As my aunt says, “People have to start somewhere.” And, Will and I have definitely made a great start.