I believed William when he told me that I would not be making any money my first year of teaching because of all the expenses we have.  But I didn’t know how bad it was going to be until I sat down tonight and itemized all my expenses – day care, life insurance, vision insurance, short-term disability insurance, etc.  OMG!  My heart sank.  I won’t be making any money at all!  In fact, it looks like I’m going to be owing money to my employer or getting a negative pay check (if there is such a thing).  It’s absolutely horrible!

I know you are wondering why I’m putting myself through this torture only so I can be in a financial hole.  It’s for my boys.  It’s so that William and I can afford to send them to preschool.  Aidan greatly benefited from his preschool experience last year.  It would be a crime not to expose him to that environment again this year.  And I know Mark is ready for that challenge too.  Me staying home would be great for Caitlin and myself, but I know my boys would lose out on this deal.  It would be unfair to them.

*Sigh* What have I signed up for?  Other than the boys going to preschool, I don’t see anything else positive coming out of this experience (at least for this year).  I’m forced to put Caitlin in day care and I’m going to be dead broke!

My ray of light is the knowledge that things will get better by the end of next year.  Aidan will be starting kindergarten then and Mark will hopefully be potty trained (diaper expenses go down).  So basically I have to suffer for one year as I work towards giving my boys a better life and a jump start on their education.  I’ll just have to remember this “piece of sunshine” when I get my first (second, third, fourth… ) negative paycheck(s).

Ain’t life grand!  Ugh!!!  🙁