My former boss would send her mother flowers on her (former boss’) birthday. It was her way of thanking her mother for her birth and for raising her. I thought this was an ingenious idea; after all where would we be if not for our mothers. Which had me thinking, with my 30th birthday (yes I’m that old) around the corner, I wanted to take the time to acknowledge my mother and everything she has done for me.
30 years ago my mother had a dream of being happily married to the man she loved and living the good life. Sadly, her dream was never realized. Instead she found herself stuck in an unfaithful, loveless marriage filled with physical and emotional abuse.
All the crap she was dealing may be the reason why she seemed so emotionally unavailable to me. Growing up, my mother and I never had a close relationship. If I ever needed someone to talk to, she was not the first person I would go to… in fact she may have not been my last either. I just didn’t think she would able to relate to what I was going through. It never occurred to me that my mother was too busy trying to protect us and keep us safe; she didn’t have the time or the energy for such things as “motherly affection.”
Yet through it all, she persevered with her goal to make a better life for herself and her children. If it were not for her my sister and I would not be living where we are or living the way we do. Looking back now I never realized everything my mom went through for us – the countless sleepless nights, the worry, the anxiety.
So here I stand, 30 years later, watching my own kids grow and thinking of all the obstacles and heartbreaks my mother endured in order to give my sister and me a life different from hers. My family and I live a blessed life thanks in large part to her hard work and generosity. And, even at 60+ she still works hard to make sure that her children (and her grandchildren) will never want for anything.
I’m having a hard time finishing this post. I am filled with emotions as I think about what my mother has done for and given me and my kids. Words just don’t seem to enough to convey all the love, gratitude, appreciation I have for her. So instead I will end with a few quotes I found appropriate for this post and with a simple thank you.
Thank you, Ammi!
I cannot forget my mother. She is my bridge. When I needed to get across, she steadied herself enough for me to run across safely.
~Renita Weems
All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel Mother.
~Abraham Lincoln
Hundreds of dewdrops to greet the dawn,
Hundreds of bees in the purple clover,
Hundreds of butterflies on the lawn,
But only one mother the wide world over.
~George Cooper
My mother is a poem I’ll never be able to write,
though everything I write is a poem to my mother.
~Sharon Doubiago
What you’ve said here really struck a cord with me because I remember one of those incidents like it was yesterday. I’m not going to discuss it here but I know your mom has been thru a lot. Look at her reward, at what she has raised…2 brilliant daughters (my mom always says that about you and your sis). That and also how your mom worked hard and moved to America all by herself with you two and settled in. No easy feat for a woman to do all by herself.
And I totally get what you’re saying about how your mom was so focused making things better for you that there was no time for motherly affection growing up. My mother and I were never close during my teenage years until we got to Canada and that’s because she was so focused on migrating, always stressing, never stopping. Once we were settled in, in Canada, it was like a bird set free.
We everywhere owe a lot to our mothers and this post is such a nice way of taking the time out to let your mom know how you feel, especially now that you’re a mom with kids of your own. Reading it made me teary eyed…Cheers to both our Ammis.
(If you feel this comment is too personal, feel free to take it off).
Roshani…..i was so moved by this lovely peice on your mum.
I too was not that close to my mum when I was growing up partly because she didnt show the same affection and closeness like my dad used to show me.She tried to treat me like her mother treated her and her 08 siblings.
over the years however we got close and by the time i got married my mum was my best friend (or so I thought)
Yet somewhere that little gap was always there and she was always trying to boss me and constantly made nasty comments about my weight/looks.
She was very angry when I got pregnant with Leylah and like your mum commented about our financial position, growing old too quickly and being looked down upon as if we are uneducated (wherever did they get such notions).
Till date she doesnt like Leylah as much as she does Hannah.
The person I had troubles with during my vacation recently was her…and she stopped talking to me for a good 3 months…only recently she has begun thawing and is getting around to being normal.
Being a mother I know and understand so much more than my mother does in her 50 years.I know I will try hard not to be a repeat of what she was.. to my daughters…and will let go and respect their individuality and freedom.
There is no one else more greater than a mother …so from one mum to another AND to OUR lovely Ammis…with their flaws and all…GOD BLESS THEM AND HOPE THEY LIVE A VERY LONG HEALTHY LIFE!